This is my incomplete guide where I'm going to jot down notes and hopefully edit in the future to a full guide, and maybe help somebody in the same boat.
I started with a fresh install of server 2008 x64 standard, updated to sp2, then did all the windows updates, rebooted.
The server running KBC and BES(X) from what I can tell, MUST BE PROMOTED to either a PDC or a member of a domain, where you have the active directory users and computers snapin. This took me 3 days to figure out as I'm not a Windows Domain expert.
The Blackberry installer will simply CRASH after creating the config db if it is not a PDC or member of a domain, simply having the active directory domain services roll installed is not enough.
Be sure it is a PDC/Domain member PRIOR to installing the KBC. If you install it, and even uninstall it, then promote, the KBC installer will fail with a message that you can't do the install/upgrade as you have done it before as a different user (once you promote a server, you can no longer login as a local users, only a domain user)
Your other computers on your network obviously don't have to join this domain or anything to work properly.
I believe you must install the KBC as the same user as you're going to install BES(X) as.
I also had to reboot after installing the CDO/MAPI components or the KBC installer would fail, stating it couldn't create a MAPI instance.
I did the BES(X) install as a besadmin user, mine was a "member of" the administrator group, and a domain admins group, neither of which I believe is a requirement.
In the last part of the BES(X) install, I chose to have BES(X) itself handle the admin logins, instead of using active directory. The first time I tried it with AD, it would not authenticate.
1)install server 2008, do sp2, windows updates etc, reboot
2) promote to a PDC or join a domain
3) create a besadmin user with admin rights
4) login as that besadmin user
5) install the CDO objects http : //www.microsoft.com/downloads/en/details.aspx?familyid=27143 20d-c997-4de1-986f-24f081725d36&displaylang=en
7) install the Kerio blackberry connector, maybe reboot?
run the BES(X) installer, leaving all defaults, except for the admin authentication if you don't want AD to handle the logins
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